ni AlterEgo
Im Elle 24 years old. Striking ang kaputian. Sexy. Athletic built ang katawan. Vital stats is 34-25-35. 5’4″ ang height. I have a full mouth..katamtamang tangos ng ilong at nangungusap na mga mata. Some would say kamukha ko si Anne Hathaway.. Ung iba naman kamukha ko daw si Anna Kendrick but I don’t know and I don’t care.. ang alam ko lang.. lapitin ako ng mga manyak, matatanda, may asawa, mga tatay na at marami pang-iba.
I have enumerated my basic qualities just to give you some prominent reasons why I am sharing my experience and of course to give you a glimpse about my looks. Kasi sabi nang ibang mga kabaro ko.. Pang-kama lang daw ang ganda ko which is pinagkikibit-balikat ko lang. Ok lang atleast kahit papaano eh may ganda. This is my first entry here in this site, I was just an avid reader..never a write especially this kind of genre.. Ayoko ma-judge but then why not give it a try? After all, we are all wearing a mask here… hidden by different letters.
Let’s start with Mon. My boyfriend.
I met Mon thru a common friend. Actually nakuha niya mula sa Ate ko ang number ko. Hindi ko alam ang saktong nangyari pero what I can just remember was that we were suddenly texting each other. He was 24 that time and I was 10 years younger than him..NBSB-noob-in-dating-opposite-sex samakatwid.. Virgin. Nang panahon yun usong-uso ang pakikipagtextmates,clans, Gms.. me? I went with the flow.
One day inaya nya ko makipagkita. First attempt no was rejected because he was asking me in the middle of the night .. Close to 12 midnight. Inuman daw. I declined and said no since hindi rin ako palainom. The second he asked me out, pumayag na ako… sa Megamall. I can still remember his looks. He was wearing blue shirt na parang hanger sa kanya. Moreno, chinito and cute. Plus hindi sya athletic. He had this Korean-type of body. Lean. Pero konti lang muscles. Peru I was a bit turned off because he was acting rather walk like a gangster and feeling close. During the duration of our ‘meeting’ he was putting his arms over mine and leaning on me.
“Ang bilis bilis mo ha? ” sabi ko habang kumakawala ako sa akbay nya.
Wala naman sya ginawa kundi ngumiti at kumamot ng ulo.
Its started from there, niligawan niya ako, I didn’t have plans in having a boyfriend kaya lang yung nanay ko pressure. Bakit daw wala akong boyfriend.
Lumipas ang ilang buwan, naging kami at dumating sa punto na kailangan kong patunayan na mahal ko sya. Narindi din ako sa mga pahaging nyang ‘lahat nang naging girlfriend ko..natikman ko”. I was a virgin and tigas-tanggi ako sa mga ganun bagay. Before nakukuntento na sya sa petting lang.
Ngunit nang araw na un, inaya nya akong lumabas at pumunta kami sa isang bahay nila na walang nakatira.
“Punta tayo, Batasan. Gusto ko uminom. Samahan mo ko.”
Since I was naive at walang idea sa kasabihang “kapag may alak, may balak”, I went with him. Lumiban pa ako sa klase para lang samahan siya.
Papadilim na nang marating namin ang lugar. Sa Northview. Bumili siya ng dalawang mucho na Redhorse, pumuwesto kami sa maluwag na sala, tinagayan niya ako at pinainom. Nagsalang din siya ng movie, it was a film titled Disturbia, starring Shia LaBeouf.
Tumagay kami nang tumagay kahit hindi ako sanay. Hindi nagtagal nakaramdam ako ng hilo at pamamanhid. . Nabibingi ako sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko, hindi ko alam kung dahil sa alak o dahil sa posibleng mangyari. Unti-unti na rin siyang lumapit sa akin. He started caressing my shoulders, my head, my back..everything.. and I could not do anything about it. Pakiramdam ko noon, paralisado ang aking buong katawan, mistulang lantang gulay.
He started kissing me…my cheeks, my nose, my jawline, neck, shoulders, collarbone and all I could do was moan…out of protest. Gulong gulo isipan ko. Alam ko na kung ano ang mangyayari and I was there feeling trapped, betrayed and helpless.
He started to take off my pants. Unbuttoning it and slowly letting it fall down unto my feet. I even heard the ‘thump’ sound that my belt has made. Nagugulumihanan pa rin ang isip ko.
These were the thoughts running on my mind.. ‘Hindi pa ako ready..Paano na yung sex-after-marriage Principle?, Kabilang na ako sa milyong kabataang involved sa pre-marital sex’.
It’s funny because that time, dahan-dahan niya na akong inihihiga sa sofa. Hindi na rin niya tinangkang hubarin ang aking blouse, he unbuckled his belt and pulled out a red condom.
A strawberry aroma filled my nostrils the moment he opened it. He slowly covered his shaft with the condom. Parang mali pa nga yung size na nakuha niya kasi maluwang. I couldn’t feel anything but fear and hesitation. Hinalikan niya ako, soft and gentle, attempting to sooth me, erase my inhibitions. Naamoy ko ang pinaghalong alak at yosi sa kaniyang mainit na hininga. Hingal na hingal siya, kitang kita ko ang gabutil na mga pawis sa kaniyang noo. Nangingintab na rin sa pawis ang kaniyang dibdib. Naging marubdob ang kaniyang halik, naging marahas at lalong naging mainit ang kaniyang mga kamay. Umuungol na siya, sarap na sarap sa ginagawa niya sa akin. Hindi nagtagal, dumagan siya sa akin.
Ramdam ko ang pagdunggol-dunggol nya sa aking kaselanan. Pilit hinahanap ng matigas nyang ari ang aking lagusan.
“Umhp..umph..umph”. Sambit nya na may halong diin.
“Wag kang malikot”.
Pilit nyang hinahawakan ang balakang ko at pinipirmi sa isang pwesto.
“Masakit. Ayoko.” nangangatal at nanghihina kong sabi.
Ngunit nagmistula siyang isang bingi. Nang natagpuan nya ang pakay nyang butas at naipasok ang ulo nang kanyang ari, isang malakas na ulos ang kanyang ginawa.
“Ahhhhh! ” he moaned. Hinayaan nyang magadjust ang ari ko sa ari niya. Pakiramdam ko noon, mistulang may dysmenorrhea ako. Masakit sa puson..humihilab.
Sabi ko sa sarili ko. ‘Bat ang daming nalululong sa pre-marital sex? Hindi masarap to! Masakit!’
Nagsimula siyang umindayog nang maramdaman niyang nakapag-adjust na ako. Nothing was surreal, I was waiting for the pleasure to take over as they say that the pain is only at the beginning, but no. I was lying there receiving all the agonizing thrusts he was providing.
Ilang sandali ang lumipas nagpatuloy siya sa pag-ulos hangga’t sa nanginig ang kaniyang buong katawan. Nilabasan na pala siya.
He has this smirk on his face that I craved to wipe off by a slap. He got it. Nabiyak niya ako .
“Pinutok mo sa loob?” tanong ko.
“OO”, maikli nyang sagot at he still has that smirk.
“What if napunit ung condom or nagleak?”
“OK lang yun!”. nakangiti pa rin.
Siya na din nagsuot ng damit ko sa akin dahil nanghihina pa rin ako.
‘Wala na virginity ko! I can’t believe it’ sigaw ng isip ko.
I tried to console myself though, sabi ko, ‘OK lang yan , atleast sa boyfriend mo binigay, di ka na matatakot kung ma-rape ka man wala nang makukuha.wala ka nang paghihinayangan.’
There was silence and he broke it by saying “kapag di na kita kinontak ibig sabihin ayoko na, break na tayo.”
Hindi ako nakakibo. I was hurt, outraged and I wanted to punch him. HARD. But I didn’t cry nor show him any weaknesses, instead I just nodded and utter nothing yet I mentally slapped myself for letting him manipulate me and dragging myself to this mess. “Tangina! Argh! Men! ”
“Bakit walang dugo?” Dagdag na tanong niya pa.
Napakunot noo ako. ‘How the hell I would know?’ pero di ko isinatinig yun. ‘
“Hindi ko alam.” maikli kong sabi.
It was almost midnight when we decided to part ways. He didn’t even offer to drop me by my place. I took the bus alone, hurt, sore and used.
‘So that’s it? Mas Malala pa sa rapist ung hayup na un!.’
Then suddenly the bus played a song, you know what it was?
And I guess the tears were falling,
‘Cause the little girl was lost,
But now love,
I’m not crying any more.
This girl has turned into a woman.
And I’ve dreamed of this moment,
All my life.
This girl has turned into a woman.
And I thank you,
For your tenderness,
Last night.
I’ve never a man,
Lying on my pillow.
I’ve never seen your body,
Without clothes.
I can’t believe,
These feelings I’ve discovered.
Though I’m sure it’s just,
What every lover knows.
Now I’m offering to you,
I make a promise,
And? Was gone tomorrow,
Don’t pretend.
But right now I’m in love,
And that’s all I’m thinking of.
And I hope this feeling,
Never ever ends.
This girl has turned into a woman.
And I’ve dreamed of this moment,
All my life.
This girl has turned into a woman.
And I thank you,
For your tenderness last night.
And I want to love you,
Once again,
Tonight.
Ironic. But you know what? I didn’t expect that this will be the start of my promiscuity. Stay put people and watch out for the next entry.
P.S.
You are welcome to comment people. Anytime. Pardon me if this entry does not entice you that much, again this is my first time and what I wrote here were the actual emotions I felt that moment.