I was surprised to see Miel coming out of the washroom.
Maybe she heard it, siguro ngayon ay alam na niya ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
Naglakad si Miel papalapit sa akin.
I feel nervous but excited, she never fails to make my heart skip a beat.
“Kanina ka pa Miel? Maybe you overheard our conversation.”
I smiled at her and said,
“Miel, about what I’ve told Aris, I just want you to know its all…!!!”
She suddenly slapped me.
Masakit ang sampal niya, nayanig ang ulo ko, my lower lip is bloodied.
Pero mas masakit ang feeling ng rejection, yung pakiramdam na galit siya sakin, na ayaw niya sakin.
“Mr. Xander Holmes, I, Remiel Gonzalez of Accounting Department is officially resigning from my position.”
“Goodbye.”
I cant say a word, dumbfounded, confused.
Why?
Bigla siyang tumakbo palabas ng office ko, doon lang ulit may lumabas ng boses sa bibig ko.
“Miel! Wait! Ano’ng problema!?”
I tried to chase her pero hindi ako makatakbo ng maayos, the pain in my chest is creeping down my spine.
Noong makarating ako sa office ni Miel ay mabilis kong binuksan ang pinto, I saw her inside, dala ang mga gamit niya at akmang lalabas ng pintuan.
I blocked her way and asked her,
“Hey, what’s the big idea?”
I want to hear her side, ano ba talaga ang reason kung bakit niya ako biglang iniiwasan to the point na mag resign siya.
“Xander, please tama na. Mali ang ginagawa natin, let’s stop this.”
I tried to hug her to calm her down and we’ll talk it out.
But she tackled me, nagulat ako sa lakas ng pagbangga niya, then she ran away and never looked back.
Habang naiwan akong nakatingin sa likod niya, my conscience started to take its toll.
Dapat hindi ko inuna ang sarili kong libog,
Dapat hindi ako nag-take advantage sa weakness ni Miel,
Sana sinimulan ko ng maayos ang relasyon namin bilang magkaibigan,
Sana nanligaw ako ng maayos sa kanya, nasabi ko ng maayos kung gaano ko siya kamahal.
I should have said sorry for all those things I’ve done. I’m such a dork, I’m an asshole, I’m a dick headed prick.
I want to cry because of what happened but I stopped myself, my Dad told me that crying is a sign of weakness. I mustn’t cry, I will not.
Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko and called for help, hindi pa huli ang lahat, I’ll get her back.
Aayusin namin to’. Itutuwid ko lahat ng mali na sinimulan ko.
“Hello Alex, hear me out…”
“……”
“Please watch over her. I don’t want to lose her again.”
After calling Alex, pumunta ako sa parking lot to get my car, I’m sure she’s at home, pupuntahan ko si Miel sa bahay nila.
Habang binubuksan ko ang pintuan ng kotse ko ay biglang may humawak sa balikat ko.
“Xan, nakita ko si Miel na tumatakbo palabas at umiiyak. I guess its all over for both of you.”
“Kaya siya nakipaghiwalay sayo ay para mabuo ulit ang pamilya namin, kaya please, stop chasing her.”
“Believe me Xan, kung ano man ang nagawa ko dati, I regret it with all my heart, I promised her that I’ll devote my whole life to repay my sins.”
“Please…Give up already.”
I didn’t respond, hell! I didn’t bother to look at him.
I know he’s lying, its all a lie!
But why does he makes sense?
Why does it hurt so much?
Umalis na si Jacob, naiwan ako sa may pintuan ng kotse ko, confused, I didn’t know what to do.
Fuck!
Bumalik na lang ako sa office, dahil sa mga sinabi ni Jacob ay nawalan ako ng lakas ng loob na habulin si Miel.
• 6PM •
I received a text from Alex, he’s following Miel and her daughter down south.
• 9PM •
Nasa office pa din ako, still figuring out what to do, sorting my scrambled feelings.
I received another text from Alex.
He informed me the exact address of Miel – Candelaria, Quezon. A walk away from Poblacion.
I replied and thanked him for his amazing stalking job.
“Good job brother. Thank you.”
I didn’t do anything.
• 1 Week Later •
Wala na akong balita kay Miel, naulit lang ang nangyari seven years ago.
I didn’t fight for her dahil may asawa na siya and I know mali ang nararamdaman ko.
Again, I suppressed my feelings.
• 1 Month Later •
God knows, how much I love her! Hindi ko siya makalimutan, she’s always here in mind.
I need to do something, if this keeps up, mababaliw ako sa kakaisip at depression.
• Sunday 4PM – Candelaria Quezon •
I mustered all the courage inside me and decided to talk to Miel.
First is to say sorry.
I’ll say sorry for my faults. I’ll ask forgiveness for all my jackassery.
Second is decision..
Kung nagsisinungaling si Jacob tungkol sa pagbabalikan nilang mag-asawa, I’ll court her properly.
Liligawan ko siya like a true gentleman.
I’ll show her how much I love her.
Pero kung totoo nga ang sinasabi ni Jacob at nagkabalikan na sila. I’ll try my hardest to forget Miel.
I don’t want to mess with her good ending. Kahit masakit para sa akin ay kalilimutan ko siya.
Hindi na ulit ako magpapakita sa kanila, kahit kailan.
• 4:47PM •
Finally! Dumating ako sa bayan ng Candelaria. While driving ay may nadaanan akong simbahan.
I’m not a religious man but for some unknown reason ay naisip kong dumaan doon para humingi ng guidance.
I’ll ask Him for a sign.
Nasa pinto pa lang ako ng simbahan ay nakita ko agad ang babae na hindi ko kayang kalimutan.
The girl I loved for so many years.
Nasa isang sulok siya ng simbahan kasama ang lalakeng nanakit sa kanya dati.
They’re both smiling, they’re holding each others hand.
They embraced each other like they doesn’t want to let go.
“Don’t cry, it’s a sign of weakness.”
But it hurts so much that tears wont stop from coming out.
I walked away from them.
It’s all over.
“……”
“……”
• 2 Years Later •
Me and my team managed to make our company a successful one.
One of the best.
Parang akong robot na nagtrabaho for two years, I want to make myself busy and productive.
This way, mas madali akong makakalimot.
But I guess, moving on from your first love is not an easy conquest.
Bakit nga ba kapag broken hearted mas focus sa trabaho? Ano ang scientific explanation?
Dahil maganda naman ang takbo ng company, I decided to take a break.
Eto nga at nakasakay ako sa bus papunta sa Los Baños Laguna. A friend of mine invited me sa isang event sa Splash Mountain Resort.
Nag commute ako dahil baka dito sa bus ko makilala ang babaeng muling bubuo ng durog kong puso.
I promised myself na kahit sinong babae ang tumabi sa akin ay kukunin ko ang pangalan at cellphone number.
Nasa tabi lang ako ng bintana at nakatitig sa mga puno, palayan, magandang subdivisions at bughaw na ulap.
To my surprise, wala kahit isang tumabi sa akin mula Buendia hanggang Calamba!
Pagdating ng bus sa Calamba, WalterMart ay may isang babaeng tumabi sakin. Hindi ko nakita ang mukha niya but it doesn’t matter.
A promise is a promise.
I started to ask the girl beside me,
“Good morning miss, saan ka pupunta?”
She looked at me at kitang kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya.
“Uhm…sa Sta. Cruz, doon kasi ang work ko.”
I tried to control myself but the temptation is real,
“How are you? How’s your husband?”
She looked away from me and said,
“I guess we managed to get a good ending. Two years ago nagkasundo kami na maging magkaibigan na lang for the sake of our daughter.”
“I’m happy right now, no more stress, no more heartbreaks.”
I gave my right and to her and said,
“By the way I’m Xander Holmes, and you are?”
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Remiel Gonzalez, but just call me Miel for short.”
“I wish we could be friends Miel.”
“Sure. Ano number mo?”
That day, fate played its hands.
This time, we started it right.
I don’t need good endings.
All I need is her, by my side.
Good Ending – The End