by DuraLexSedLex
“The report’s due next week and you have the liberty to choose your partner,” Mrs. Monteith said. “Go to your partner and talk about it.”
Everyone began to scram and look for a partner while I, on the other hand, stayed still. I still felt a little tired from all the self-induced drama. I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
“Spence,” a very familiar voice said. I sighed before I lifted my head up. “Partners?” Adam said.
I gave him a small smile. “Sorry,” I replied. “Owen already asked me,” I lied. Good thing Owen went to the comfort room so I didn’t have to deal with him right now. It’s just that I can’t deal with Adam. He’s with someone and he didn’t want me. It’s so freaking clear and I was beginning to beg my heart to stop loving him. And minimizing my interaction with him was the first step.
He nodded but I could feel that he’s thinking that I was mad at him. I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at myself. I was mad that I was in love with someone who doesn’t love me… I was mad that I was so stupid. For three years, I’ve been really stupid. I have wasted so much time loving someone who couldn’t reciprocate my feelings.
And I still have one year left to remove Adam from my system. I wanted to remain friends with him… I want to be OK when I see him during Christmas breaks. I want to be able to look him in the eyes and not feel my heart beating so erratically fast. I wanted to get rid of my feelings while I still can… because I think if I graduate and I was still in love with him, I will never be able to move on from him.
He will bethousandmiles away from me and I will still be wondering about him. And I didn’t want that for myself.
“Okay,” he said. He wanted to say something but chose not to. He talked to Silas then and asked him to be his partner but my jerk of a brother just flipped him off. He’ll never get over it, really. So Adam was forced to be partners with Amy—the smartest girl in our class but the weirdest, too.
When Owen arrived, I immediately told him that he’s my partner. Good thing he didn’t make a big deal out of it. We talked about what we wanted to write and good thing he agreed when I proposed Wuthering Heights. Lots of people really didn’t like that but I was a big fan. I just hate some of the characters but the story was good.
The class ended shortly after and I was able to let out a sigh of relief. I won’t be seeing Adam until this afternoon but I’d deal with that later. For now, I can breathe freely.
I arranged my things and was ready to go to my next class when Adam blocked my way.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked me.
“What? No.”
“Sure? Because it feels like you’re avoiding me.”
I gave him a tired smile. “You’re imagining things.”
“Really?” I nodded. “Good. Because I can’t have you mad at me. You’re my number 1 girl,” he said before he ruffled my hair. I just let him because he won’t be able to do that anymore. I’d be doing my best to avoid him. I just can’t have him play his push and pull game.
Maybe Silas was right. Adam was leading me on… he’s not doing it consciously but he’s doing it still. And I’ve got to put an end to his game. It’s affecting me. It’s hurting me. It’s better if I’m not in love with him.
“We’ll hang out later, OK?” he told me.
“I have—” I wasn’t even finished when he cut me off.
“Come on, Spence. I would really think that you’re mad at me. You’re hurting me right here,” he said and then pointed at his heart. Touch because he’s doing the same thing to me.
The bell rang. I thought he was going to leave me alone but he wasn’t moving. Gods, he was just so stubborn sometimes.
“I want to,really, but I’ve got to do my paper with Owen,” I lied. Sorry, Owen. But he’d been telling me to get rid of my feelings for Adam and surely he wouldn’t mind being the instrument.
“What time?” he asked. He was so adamant!
“5 pm onwards? We really haven’t talked about it yet,” I told him. “We’ll both be late, Adam. Let’s just hang this weekend.”Or never again.
He nodded. “I’ll talk to Owen. I’ll steal you for 2 hours tops.” He messed my hair and left me there.
Heavens really just won’t let me move on in peace!
I shook my head and began walking to my next class. I sat there and put my head on top of my desk. I really felt so drained; I had no energy to even listen to anything right now. I should have snatched a granola bar before I stormed out of the house earlier. I felt like a walking dead.
I was trying to nap while waiting for my teacher when my seatmate nudged me.
“What?” I grunted.
“Owen’s looking for you.”
“Huh?” Even in my disoriented state, I can’t understand why Owen’s looking for me. For 3 years, our longest talk was ‘Go straight home?’ ‘Yup.’ ‘Alright.’ That was about it! We really weren’t chums. He just knew me because I was his best friend’s twin sister but lately, we’ve been talking and it’s just weird.
I stood up and walked outside and saw Owen with his back leaning on the wall. He has a paper on his hand.
“What?” I asked him. He gave me a paper. “What’s this?” I said and he just shrugged. Gods, was saying a word so hard for him sometimes?
Oh.
“Thank you!” I told him. “Gods, thank you!”
“It’s nothing,” he said. He put his hands inside his pocket and began walking away from me. He’s so nice. He just printed out the paper I wrote yesterday and delivered it to me. I was so preoccupied with my problems yesterday that I forgot to send the document to my email. It’s so nice of him to do this for me when he shouldn’t have.
He was too far from me and my teacher just arrived. I wanted to thank him more but I got no time.
Me: Give me Owen’s number.
Silas: Seriously? U planning on loving all my friends?
Me: Ha-ha funny
Silas:
Why does he have to be my twin?! He’s driving me insane!
Me: Just give me the number, Silas!
Silas: Just ask him urself
Silas: And try not 2 disgust him
Me: I’ll cut your condoms!!!
He’s sick in the head!
Owen Mendez
+562 983 6453
Me: Thanks!
Silas: Stay away from my condoms, you virgin
I didn’t bother responding to his comment because I didn’t want to discuss my virginity with him. I just smiled because I really knew how to play my brother. Good thing our teacher was busy explaining something about the war so she didn’t catch me using my phone.
Me: hey, Owen, it’s me Spencer
I waited for his reply but I got none. Seriously? I blackmailed my brother just to get his number and he’ll just snob me? But I didn’t want to send another message because I didn’t want to seem too eager for his response so I just got my phone back inside my bag and focused on the lesson about why you shouldn’t trust your cabinet members when you’re leading a civil war.
When 2nd period ended, I got out of class and started looking for Moira. She was talking to one of her classmates so I stayed outside and waited for her. While I was waiting, my phone started ringing. It was Owen.
“Hi?” I said. Why was he calling me?
“Oh, it’s you,” he replied.
“Okay?” He really was weird. “Why did you call?”
“Just want to make sure it’s you.”
“Why?”
“People love pulling pranks. Anyway, why did you text me?”
I should really just talk to Owen through phone. He seemed to be more relaxed and friendly when he’s not in front of me. And it’s better to converse with him through here, as well.
“I forgot to properly thank you.”
“It’s fine, no big deal,” he said like being really kind and thoughtful was just an everyday act for him. Well, it’s not for me because the people surrounding me werebunchof playboys and a sadist.
“And…” I trailed off. I closed my eyes and gathered my guts to tell him what I was about to tell him. “And I kinda told Adam we have to do our paper later.” I spoke really fast so by the time I was done, I was a ragged mess.
I waited for his reply. I mean, it would be totally cool if he’ll blow me off if he had plans for later but it would really mean the world to me if he’ll just go with the flow. I didn’t want to spend my entire night with Adam. It’s a Friday night! And I didn’t want to start my weekend with a foul mood.
“Yeah. Adam already talked to me,” he said and I caught my breath. Shit! He really was fast!
“Oh, my gods, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
He cut me off. “It’s fine,” he said. “But next time, I would appreciate a head’s up so I won’t look stupid when Adam asks me where we’d be doing our paper.”
I bit my lower lip. It’s not his mess but he’s being dragged in my pool of mud because of me. I think he’s starting to get pissed with me and my drama but he’s just a really nice guy so he couldn’t tell me off.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered.
“It’s fine,” he replied. “So… your place or mine?”
I was about to answer when Moira nudged me. “Sorry I kept you waiting. Let’s go?” she said. She began walking when I was still holding my phone.
“My place,” I said and I ended the call. And then I saw Owen looking at me while he’s walking with my brother and their other friends. Adam was nowhere to be found so I’d assume he’s up somewhere with his lady friend. I didn’t know why my face flared when I saw him looking at me. I immediately walked fast and caught up with Moira.
“Your face’s all red,” Moira commented.
“H-ha?” I stuttered. “It’s just hot…”
She just shrugged it off. We got our food and went to our usual spot but someone was already sitting there. Moira and I stopped in our spot. Neither of us were big fan of trouble so I was thinking that maybe we could just eat our food while standing. I just really didn’t need confrontation if ever things go wrong. It’s just a spot, anyway.
There’s a social hierarchy in every school and I’ve long lost hope of destroying that. Moira and I started to look for a place to stand when suddenly, I was face to face with Adam.
“Sit with us,” he said.
Gods, I really can’t have a break, can I?!
“W-what?” I said. I looked up and saw him looking at me. “It’s fine, Adam. We can find our own seat,” I continued, trying to keep my shit together. I nudged Moira so she could back me up. “Right, Moira?”
But she just shrugged! She just shrugged! Gods, what’s wrong with this day?!
“Cool,” Adam said, clearly pleased that my best friend just betrayed me. He got the tray from my hand and began to walk. I looked at Moira but she wasn’t looking at me. Traitor!
We both followed Adam until we were face to face with the famous people in our school—I mean famous guys. I think the only people allowed to sit in thefamousspot were of course the famous people, their girlfriends, and… yeah, right, that’s certainly it.
“Scoot,” Adam told one of his friends. He followed without saying anything so I’d assume that Adam’s one of thebigguys in his circle. He sat and then patted the space beside him. “Sit here,” he said.
“What about Moira?” I asked him. I really would do anything just to get out from this situation! I had a feeling this break would be really stressful! I just wanted to eat and refuel my energy before I torment myself again later. Gods, I can’t catch a break!
“He can sit beside Scott,” Adam said and Moira followed him without even saying anything. What’s the deal with her? And what’s the deal with Silas? He’s been really quiet! I mean, if this was a normal situation, I think he’d kick me out of the table in no time. He really hated it when I was with Adam.
I sighed and gave up. I lost all my choices.
“Wait for me later, ‘kay?”
“Why?”
“We’ll hang out, remember?”
Oh, that. He’s so persistent. Where’s his lady friend, anyway? I haven’t seen her since this morning. Maybe she could keep him company so he’d stop annoying me.
“Do we really have to?”
He put his soda down and faced me—never mind that we’re in a table with his friends. I just wanted to bury my face in my hands. I can’t have him looking at me like that! He’s not supposed to look at me like that!
“Spencer,” he said, every word sending me into an overdrive. “Do you have a problem with me?”
“No, of course not,” I said. “You’re being really paranoid, Adam. I am not mad at you. We’re cool.”
But he didn’t stop with that soul-piercing stare. I wanted him to stop. Him being like this would just make me hope even more… and I just wanted to be done hoping that we could be something… because I know I’d just be lying to myself.
“I’m not stupid, Spence. I can feel that there’s something wrong. What is it?” His voice sounded like he really cares for me… “You’re my best friend, right?” I was hoping for something more when I got slapped with reality. Again.
I heaved out a deep breath. “Sure,” I said, the word tasted bitter in my mouth. “Believe me, we’re fine, Adam. I’m just giving you space…” I continued. I can’t believe I’d be opening this topic again. “Remember what happened with Jasmine?”
Worry crossed his face. “I can talk to—”
“No, really, there’s no need to. She’s your girlfriend and I’m your best friend. She’s your priority, I know. I just don’t want you to lose your girlfriend because of me… again.”
I lost my appetite after that. I still can’t get over what Jasmine did to me a year ago. I mean, I get it that she’s jealous of me but can’t she understand that I’m close to Adam because I am his best friend?! Did she really need to go to such length just to keep me at bay?
I stood up. “I’m not hungry anymore,” I said as I began to leave. My placed my hand over my stomach as I made my way out of the cafeteria. My tummy was begging me to feed it but I wouldn’t take another step back. I’d rather starve than to face Adam again.
My phone vibrated.
Moira: why did you leave me here!!
Owen: bleachers.
Shoot! I forgot about Moira! But she’d be fine; Silas was there. Whatever’s going on between the two of them, I’d wish they’d fix it. I mean, I really didn’t want to get caught in the middle of another feud. I was struggling with my own as it was.
Though I didn’t know what exactly Owen said when he texted bleachers, I assumed that he meant for me to go there. There still was time before the classes began and I had nothing better left to do so what the hell. I went to the bleacher hoping to find Owen but he wasn’t there.
Me: ?
Owen: right side, 3rd
I walked towards the bleacher and followed his instruction, there I saw a paper bag. The people in the gym were all busy playing so I assume this was Owen’s. I reached for the paper bag and when I opened it, I saw food. My stomach grumbled upon smelling what’s inside.
Me: ? but thanks
Owen: You’re welcome.
He’s really weird! Why was there food here? I wanted to question him but that’s the least of my priorities. I needed this food badly. I was so hungry! I sat down and began eating. It felt a bit lonely but I’d take it over having to deal with Adam any day. Maybe I should tell Moira that we better eat our food inside the CR so no one would bother us two. High school life’s really proving to be problematic! Why was it so hard to be a teenager?
Once I was done eating, I tossed the remains in the trashcan and went back to the room. Everything was fine until my class together with Adam came.
Gods, please let me be alone right now!
“Look, I already talked to Piper—”
“What?!”
Adam looked at me. “I told her that you’re my friend and if she has problems with you, then we should just stop hanging out.”
My mouth fell open and my eyes went bigger. What the heck was wrong with him?! I was trying toreallyfinally move on from his claws but he’s doing it again! He’s making me feel like I was really special but then he’ll later drop me for some other girl!
“Why did you do that, Adam?!”
He looked confused with my reaction but I was more confused with his actions. What’s his real deal?! I can’t keep up anymore!
“What?”
I shook my head and sighed. “Gods,” I said and then palmed my face. “Adam, I told you nothing’s wrong with us. This is our normal, remember? We’ll hang out and when you have a girlfriend, I’ll keep my distance to give you space. But why are you messing things up?” Now that I was finally giving you up…
Our teacher came in but I was pretty sure this wasn’t the end of our conversation.
“You may not see it but you’re important, Spence,” he said and he sounded kinda pissed. Good. We’re both pissed now.
I kept my focus on the lesson. I was itching to get this class done and over with so I could move to my next class and probably run so that Adam won’t be able to find me. I was also considering sleeping at Moira’s tonight because I was pretty sure Adam would go to our house. And I just had my fill of him today.
Once the class was done, I walked out of the class without second thought. I went to my next class and sat at the furthest corner so that no one would dare bother me. Thank heavens I was able to go through my remaining classes without anyone making me feel annoyed.
Adam: Where are you?
Ugh! Can’t he take a clue?!
Me: going home. I feel sick
Adam: i’ll drive you. Where are u?
Me: i’ll ride with Silas but thanks
Adam: Spencer, Silas is at practice. Why do you keep on lying to me? Its not funny anymore
Gods, where was Piper when I needed her to occupy Adam?!
Me: fine… I’ll meet you out
I put my phone back inside my bag and began dragging myself out. When I saw Adam’s car, I wanted to just ran back inside the hall and hide myself from him. I can’t deal with any more drama! I’ve had too much already!
When I finally got my feet to walk, I opened the door at the back of his car.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Getting in?”
“Why are you there?”
“Isn’t Piper going to ride with us?”
I saw him sigh. He’s really getting frustrated with me. “Sit here, Spencer.” Ugh! I hate it when he calls my name like that! It makes me feel like I was caught doing something red-handed.
I got out and rode shotgun. I even did my seatbelt because I was afraid he’d drive really fast because he’s so pissed with me. But few seconds passed and still, we’re in the same place.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Home.”
“Spencer…”
I grunted. “Anywhere,” I said.
“You’re making me work for it, huh?”
I rolled my eyes. “No one’s making anyone work for anything, Adam.”
“Fine,” he said before he started driving. I was getting myself comfortable in his leather seat when I noticed that we’ve gone farther than we should have! I asked him where he’s taking me but he wasn’t answering. He’s really testing my patience!
I fished for my phone and called Silas.
“What?” he said.
“Just please tell Adam to bring me home.” I put him on loudspeaker. “Talk some sense to—” I wasn’t even done talking when Adam reached for my phone and shut it. He also placed it on his side so I wouldn’t be able to reach it. Cunning guy!
I was trying to be calm. I had no idea where he’s taking me and I was just trying to conserve my energy. I didn’t know what his deal was but one thing’s for sure—I was done being played by him.
When he pulled over, I noticed that we’re near the beach.
“I don’t want to swim,” I told him.
“Come on,” he said and then got out of the car. I had no choice but to go down, as well. We began to walk and I saw a restaurant nearby. “You like burgers, right?” he said. “They make the best burger in LA.”
Ugh! He knew I wouldn’t be able to resist good food! I followed him and we went inside the resto. It was a very cozy place and the ambiance was really nice! From here, you have a clear view of the beach so it’s really relaxing. There were bean bags available and I was pretty sure I saw shelves stacked with books. I should go check that out later.
“I’ll have quarter pound burger with extra bacon and lettuce and soda,” Adam said. I rolled my eyes before I began to place my order. After that, I saw Adam smiling at me like he just caught my weakness. Sue me, I love good food.
We sat at the spot near the window so we would see the beach. It felt so relaxing to see the waves and the people surfing. I wish I could live in a place like this.
“Do I really do that whenever I have a girlfriend?” he asked.
“What?”
“Toss you aside.” I nodded. “Wow. I am an asshole,” he said and I didn’t object. Better he knew what he was. “I won’t do that again, I swear. You’re my best friend and you’re far more important than any girl who comes in my life…”
Sweet words—how you make me so happy only to crush me later on.
“Alright,” I said just to make him stop sweeping me off my feet.
Our order came and I began digging in. Gods, I was so hungry, I didn’t even realize it! I was busy eating that I forgot about my anger towards Adam. After we ate, we walked on the shore and talked about random things. He told me stories I’ve never heard before and I was just laughing my lungs off.
“You had a good time?” he said. I nodded. He really knew how to make a girl happy, no wonder everyone’s so crazy about him. I got out of his car and went straight in. There, I saw Owen watching football with my brother. I looked at my watch and realized that I was 2 hours late!
I turned my back and ran back out. I didn’t even know how to face him! I dragged him into this whole ‘paper writing’ thing only to ditch him!
I was about to text Adam and ask him if he did this on purpose because I would really hate him if he did! But I was stopped from doing so when I received a notification from Instagram.
adamdelatorre tagged you in a post
And a photo of me eating my burger was there with the caption, ‘Best girl.’
Gods, why are you making moving on so freaking hard?!