by stellargirl
Chapter IX
After ko mahimasmasan sa nangyari, my vision started to clear and then slowly bumabalik na yung senses ko. I opened my eyes and right there in front of me was Dan’s hideous shirtless body as he began to unbuckle his pants. Para akong biglang nag panic at natauhan as guilt came after me while I started to cover myself under the sheets. Flashbacks of those old tagalog movies came into my mind about some probinsyano guy getting ready to rape some nene girl na walang kalaban laban. Ganun ang nakikita ko kay Dan.
I started to pull myself away slowly while struggling to find words to say for him to back off. Parang kanina lang eh bigay na bigay na ako. It’s been a mental torture of emotional ups and downs that whole evening.
He took his pants off and then natira na lang yung boxers nya with his “thing” poking out of it.
“Wait lang.. Dan…” was all I could come up with. I started telling him nicely na hanggang dito na lang sana kami. As mean or as unfair as it sounds, I have to do something to prevent this from actually happening. Habang matino na ulit ang isip ko at habang I still have control over my own body.
“Hindi kita pipilitin. Hindi ako namimilit…” sabi nya pero i can tell na he’s irritated na sa akin.
As I lay in bed and covered with sheets, I tried to reason out with him kahit papaano. Nagpapa-awa na nga ako sa kanya na kunwari nag dadalawang isip ako and hoping na maintindihan nya. That’s all I could think off to prevent this from happening. It’s not like na sa motel kami somewhere na I can leave and storm off if I wanted to. Unfortunately, na sa hotel room ko sya so there’s no place to go and no other way to escape. All I can do is to convince him or better yet find a way to force him to leave.
The truth is natatakot ako. Hindi sa sex or sa experience. Pero nag wo-worry ako para sa sarili ko. Dumarating ako sa stage na hindi ko na macontrol yung sarili ko when I reach that height of libog…. and frankly speaking it’s starting to freak me out. Ayokong dumating sa point na it becoming my normal state na and all that principles that I’ve been fighting for my whole life are wasted.
While I still can, all I have to do is just put on a brave face and force him to leave…Why not? Despite what happened earlier, pride and self-ego still running through me. I’m not gullible and weak. I can’t relinquish control and let this guy run my well-being. Me spasming in orgasm cant be the last thing he remembers about me.
Besides, I already got what I wanted anyway… I know na he wanted me, so it’s my turn to show him who’s in-charge. Bibitinin ko talaga sya. He will forever regret na he came up short of scoring a desirable chic like me. That is how he will remember me.
Humiga sya at tumabi sya sa akin sa left side ko. Iniiwasan ko sya so bumangon na ako pero nakaupo pa rin ako sa bed.
“I think you should go…i’m sorry..” Sabi ko sa kanya while my hands are in my face pretending na i’m about to cry at sising sisi sa nangyari.
“Sige na kahit BJ na lang…” Dan insisted. “Kagabi ko pa iniisip yun habang tinitingnan ko mga pics mo sa FB” Dagdag nya.
I have never given a blowjob before. Never was i interesteded and never got curious at all. Ilang beses na ako kinulit ni Christian about it pero ayoko talaga. The thought of giving someone a blowjob really grossed me out. For me and for what I stand for, it’s humiliating to women and will forever see it na as a way to feed a man’s ego. No matter how guys politely asked for it, maglambing o magpa-awa, kapag napapayag na nila yung girl… at the back of their head ang iniisip pa rin nila eh “yeah right, suck it bitch!”. ..am I right?
This maybe my only rule na no matter what i will never ever break. Sa totoo lang, fuck me nalang, eat me, whatever.. Pero i’ll never ever service a guy with my mouth and lower myself as some kind of parausan lang.
When i was in high school i have a close friend and she was sort of dating this guy from another class. This guy wanted her to prove her love, so he asked her to give him a blowjob. Sick. She was so in to him so she did it and It turns out, this guy was actually a jerk all along and then pinagkalat nya sa mga friends nya yung nangyari. People who heard what happened, judged her, looked down and labeled her a slut since then. As much as i feel for her, I’m one of those peeps who find her really tanga. She did that to herself eh. Pumayag ka and you degrade yourself. Since then i promised myself na i’ll never ever end up like her.
Maybe I was just over reacting to the whole blowjob thing. Maybe giving head wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined. At that time, I really had no idea. I’m not some kind of weirdo naman and I have friends who are like me, who feels the same way, so i’m not alone on this.
I told Dan about my stand on blowjobs. I told him my kaartehan . Sabi ko sa kanya na kahit na i’m in a life or death situation, i’ll still choose to die nalang than to give head. That’s how i feel strongly about it…
“Tingnan natin” sabi nya na may nakakainis na tawa.
I felt insulted sa reaction nya like he’s not taking me seriously. I understand he’s being over confident sa mga naaccomplish nya sa akin… pero paano…? pipilitin nya ako? Mae-enjoy nya ba yun?
“Kahit jakulin mo nalang ako J… Wag mo naman ako iwan sa ere!” Hirit pa nya while he’s motioning his left hand up and down in a jacking off gesture.
“Ughh” sabay irap sa kanya as I closed my eyes ng nakasimangot, concentrating… thinking for a way to make him go.
Pero I realize na the only way to make him go is to do what he just asked…. Jack him off till he cums. I’d prefer not to do it pero parang I don’t really have any choice eh. I’m ready to end the night and forget that this whole thing never happened. Naka fully recovered na talaga ako sa nangyari kanina. I’m back to my real self.
“Fine, sige..hanggang ganun lang ah. Once matapos ka, aalis ka na…” sabi ko sa kanya.
“Anong ganun? Sabihin mo ng maayos… tapos sige dea!…l” insist nya.
I know what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to make me libog again by talking dirty. Not this time boy. Good luck sa kanya dahil this time my only motivation is to get him off. The sooner the better, so yeah….I’ll do whatever it takes…
“Handjob kita till you cum and that’s it…” sabi ko.
“Hehe halika dito ka sa tabi ko” sabi nya.
Sinunod ko sya. Tumabi ako sa left side ng pagkakahiga nya at nasa shoulders nya nakapwesto yung ulo ko. Umakbay naman sya sa akin then kinuha nya yung right hand ko sabay pinatong nya sa boxers nya.
I can feel his hardness as I closed my eyes even more dahil ayoko tingnan yung gagawin ko sa kanya. Old habits.
Ganito din ang style namin ni Christian before. Since takot kami na mabuntis ako, our so called “sexy time” always ended up with me giving him a handjob to get him off. Of Course I’ve seen his manhood before pero naiilang ako tumingin sa kanya or sa cock nya… So, I just kept my eyes closed lang palagi. Feeling naman nya eh napipilitan lang ako dahil parang diring diri ako sa ginagawa ko in which to some degree totoo naman… hindi naman talaga ako comfortable… pero I understand na it is something I’m “required” to do… at least to be fair sa kanya and make him happy. #relationshipgoals
Suddenly, naramdaman ko na lang na nilipat ni Dan sa belly nya yung kamay ko and then I felt him sliding down his boxers with his left hand. My eyes are still shut sa nangyayari trying to get through this ordeal… A few seconds later, he took my hand again resting on his belly sabay pahawak ng sobrang tigas nyang cock.
My eyes shot open on its own sabay angat ng ulo ko para silipin yung hawak ng right hand ko. My jaw drops with inaudible “shocks” came from my mouth. In my hand is a 7-inch fat cock and even to this date, he’s one of the biggest I’ve seen in person so far. It looks even bigger lalo na wala syang gaanong pubic hair and It wasn’t kadiri na kagaya ng ine-expect ng utak ko. Body and head are proportionally well. It was uber thick and meaty (i don’t know if that’s the right term to describe it).
It has been a while since the last time I was holding a real cock in my hand and that was before with Christian pa. I’m trying to be non-chalant about it and telling myself na there’s no need to panic, na parehas lang to at nagawa ko na rin to dati… pero pucha stop being a hypocrite J. This is way more different. Christian’s 4-4.5″ cock can’t even compete with this monster.
“Shit..no way” escaped my lips out of nowhere…
“Haha bakit? Yummy ba?” Tanong nya.
I was speechless. I wanna go back to his shoulders and close my eyes again and get it done. Pero I just can’t… I can’t take my eyes off his cock. I shook my head in disbelief and mouthed the word “shit”. Napatingin ako sa kanya and then na-realized ko na he was watching pala my reaction the whole time… I buried my head to his shoulders agad out of embarrassment.
Tawa lang sya ng tawa and he continued teasing me pa. “Malaki ba?” tanong nya. Ewan ko kung bakit sumagot naman ako bigla ng “YES!” na parang excited..
Bumangon ulit ako ng konti para tingnan ko ulit yung hawak ko. Shit talaga! was the only words na nasa utak ko. I could barely hold it talaga sa taba. I started to push my hand up and down and yung mga mata ko hindi talaga nagbliblink. Now i can see where his confidence are coming from. Despite of his looks, he’s really blessed down there. I’ve heard phrases like size doesnt matter and performance does, but i just don’t know… I wanna know. Shit talaga..
“Mas malaki ba kesa kay Christian?” Tanong nya sa akin na nagmamayabang.
“Oo” maikling sagot ko as I continue to jacking off his cock.
“Anong oo, sabihin mo ng buo…” he insisIted as he started to kiss my neck and ears again. Yung right hand nya gumapang sa tagiliran ko all the way sa boobs ko.
All that confidence earlier about turning him down and sending him home etc… Gone! Just like that. What the hell happened to me? Bakit ganun na lang ako kadaling tamaan ng libog? Simpleng halik at hawak lang? Or is it dahil sa cock nya na hanggang ngayon e hindi ko ma let go.
“Mas malaki titi mo kesa kay Christian…” Sabi ko kanya. Yup i used the word “titi”. I’m saying those words now and it’s turning me on anyway so why not. Mas malaki naman talaga titi nya.
We started making out again while taas baba ang kamay ko sa titi nya. I began to massage my clit naman using my left hand na nasa-sandwich in between our bodies. I can feel myself getting wet again. Feeling ko talaga para akong may on and off switch somewhere sa katawan ko that somehow controls my libog and Dan was the only lucky bastard who found it.
Despite getting sucked again by my libog, I was still trying my very best to control the situation and somehow listen to the voice of reason pa rin. Sure pa rin ako na I can’t let him fuck me lalo na with this monster in my hand. My mind was literally calculating how it’s going to fit sa loob pussy ko. I’m just this tiny little girl and barely reaching 5 feet so there’s no way it can get through me. Hindi talaga posible. It would literally break me in half.
Besides bakit ko na iniisip na i’m gonna allow him to fuck me. Handjob lang ang deal. That’s it. I can’t let my curiosity slipped into my mind again. Dyan ako napapahamak eh…
“Sarap ng kamay mo J…Tangina…sarap sana na maramdaman ko ang sikip ng puke mo…” Hirit pa nya.
I’m not the one in the receiving end of this handjob pero parang ako pa yung mas malalim huminga kesa sa kanya. I swear na para akong na hi-hypnotized sa kada taas baba ng kamay ko sa titi nya to the point na I can feel the insides of my pussy contracting to each thrust nat feeling ko nasa loob ko yung titi nya kahit hindi naman. It doesn’t help pa na both of my hands are working in rhythm… with one hand jacking-off Dan’s huge cock while the other hand is playing with my pussy.
“May condom ka ba…?” biglang tanong ko sa kanya. fuck J, what are you doing!
“Wala e. Pero ayoko din ng may condom….gusto ko maramdaman yung puke mo ng walang sagabal…” sabi nya
Yun lang. That was the closure to any possibility of going all the way. All along akala ko meron sya. Anong iniisip nya? Papayag ako to get laid ng walang protection lalo na with a guy I just met 2 days ago? I can’t take that risk of getting pregnant. Ano ako tanga? Ano sya sineswerte?
“Hindi ka ba nacucurious kung ano feeling ng makantot ng titi ko?…ng mas malaki kesa sa naranasan mo kay Christian?” pambubuyo pa nya as he subtly trying to convince me.
“Not without a condom. Sorry.. better safe than sorry…let’s stick to the plan na lang” sabi ko while continuing to jack him off faster ng may halong gigil out of frustration. I was trying to settle my mind na hanggang dito na nga lang talaga kami. But, a part of me was feeling disappointed na parang we don’t have that option anymore. Ewan ko hindi ko maintindihan sarili ko.
“Hindi ko naman ipuputok sa loob” sabi nya while ramdam ko sa tenga ko na bumibilis na din hininga nya. “Ilang pasok lang naman tapos kahit ako na mag jakol sa titi ko para hindi ka na mapagod…panoorin mo nalang ako after…solve na ako dun” dagdag nya
This is somewhat similar to what Christian and I used to do before and it is our own little way of having a “safe sex”. Christian will enter me for a few pumps and then kakalibitin ko na sya to stop and avoid any temptation to go further. Never naman sya nagreklamo na he’s bitin kasi alam ko na takot din sya mabuntis nya ako. Then, I’ll end up giving him a handjob to get his release. So, hindi na bago sa akin yung offer ni Dan… Tempting sya pero wala lang talaga akong tiwala sa kanya.
“Nope. Dyan nagsisimula yan… wala akong tiwala sayo na ilang pumps lang yan…” sagot ko pero i know deep inside i’ll probably gonna say yes if only i trust him enough na hanggang ganun lang ang mangyayari.
“Ikaw pa mag control kung gusto mo para mas sigurado ka. Ikang sa ibabaw ko at ikaw ang mag dedecide kung gusto mo huminto at kung ayaw mo na…” Pang-uuto pa nya.
Tempting. Really tempting…It doesn’t help pa na hindi ko maalis yung fixation ng mga mata ko sa cock nya.
“Gusto ko lang maramdaman ang sikip ng puke mo, J…diba sabi mo mas malaki titi ko kesa kay Christian? He said and then I stopped stroking his cock and just held it tight around my fist…. Feeling off his hardness around my palm.
“Imaginin mo yang titi ko na hawak mo, baon na baon sa loob ng malandi mong puke” dagdag pa nya.
I lost it again. Kanina lang I was struggling to figure it out how this… this monster of a cock… paano sya magkakasya sa loob ng pussy ko. But curiosity took over me. curious kung ano ang feeling with his cock buried inside of me. Hindi lang basta pasok, as in deep inside sagad na sagad sa akin. Basang basa na naman ang pussy ko kakaisip. I’ve gone way too far na na din so why not try….. Besides, I’m the one controlling the whole situation so I can stop it naman if I wanted to.
“So…five… just five humps, in and out..that’s it…you’re gone…” sabi ko habang nanginginig yung boses ko sa kaba.
“Oo ba..” tumawa lang sya at umayos ng higa.
I made a lot of stupid mistakes that night but by far this one takes the cake. Looking back kahit ako nahihiya para sa sarili ko. I keep bragging about being smarter than any other girls and not falling for tricks of predator men yadda yadda yadda… As I gear myself on top of Dan, I couldn’t rationalize how kanina lang I was about to kick him out of my room pero ngayon ako pa tumututok ng titi nya sa puke ko.
I held his cock with my right hand and gently guided along my pussy lips not knowing my life is about to awaken forever.